Letting Go of the Fear

"You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years! And it is good! And you use it! And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky!" - Talladaga Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

One of the hardest yet most enjoyable and rewarding things I've changed in my painting has been letting go of my fear regarding how the painting turns out. Letting go of the fear of going outside lines. Working to turn that fear into confidence in myself and my abilities to see, draw, and problem solve. 

My art background is rooted in drawing from comic books and tattoo designs. Anyone that knows about those art forms knows they're built on solid line work and tight drawing. So that was the natural way for me to approach painting as well. For years all of my paintings began with a very tight, refined drawing. But I found over time that I was constantly fearful of losing my drawing as I painted. I was forcing myself to literally paint inside the lines and it was sucking the fun out it for me. That approach was also leading to odd drawing errors and causing the end result to look more like an illustration than a painting in my opinion. The paintings themselves looked fine, it just wasn't what I wanted. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this approach, it works really well for a lot of people, and it worked well for me for a time, but I needed something different. 

The first thing I learned painting with Seth was to harness that fear and turn it into determination. No longer was I spending hours on a drawing before painting. We went straight at it with thinned transparent brown paint and started blocking in shapes and shadows and laying in essential lines. Instead of worrying about each little pencil mark I was slapping paint on the board, moving it around, and wiping it out if needed. In the time it would have taken to get the pencil drawing done I could complete the first layer of painting. And let me tell you, it is so much more fun. The concept of starting loose and free and tightening up the image as it progress has really appealed to me more and more with every painting I've done since. 

I encourage everyone to try this method. Let go of the fear that it won't be perfect. Let it be perfect in its imperfections. Dip your brush in some turp, grab up some transparent brown and start blocking in the shadows. Once your shadows are placed correctly, mix a generic skin tone with white and cadmium orange or transparent red oxide and block in the lights. If its not right, scrub it out and start over. 

Yesterday I had the privilege to drop in on an alla prima portrait class with Mia Bergeron in Chattanooga. I had contacted her on a whim and was delighted to find out she had an open spot on the last day of the class. Following Mia's approach I had to further let go of my fears and hesitations and attack this painting with no drawing at all! She encourage the class to carefully mix the right value/color and place it in the right place the first time. Easy, right? No. Not easy. But it was a fun approach, and yielded (I think) a good result. I had a great time creating this painting. Whether this experience influences my approach to future paintings or not doesn't matter. What matters is I decided to let go of my own hold ups and try something new and in the end, I got a pretty decent painting out it. 

So just to reiterate, there is no 'wrong' approach to painting. If a tight drawing works best for you, keep it up. But don't be afraid to try different approaches, you never know what you may like. Try different approaches, paint with fluorescent colors, try new things! Go harness that fear!